(un)determined

I’m mad.

Every parent sees the nightmare teacher. The one they just can’t stand no matter what. My kids aren’t even in the double digits and I’ve found mine. My parenting has been called into question several times by said teacher, which I don’t take kindly to from anyone, especially not one who hasn’t a clue what I’ve done for my kids.

It’s hard for me not to point out to this teacher that she doesn’t know what going to the trouble to do something really is. I don’t want to jeopardize anybody’s grades by venting my anger where it belongs. Next time she requests a meeting, I will be refusing. I just know I will say something someone else will regret.

Grrrrrr! >:(

Thought I’d break the monotony of one post a month to play a little catch up. Hopefully by the end those who have been giving me grief for not blogging *cough*Tweek*cough* will know why. These are of course in no particular order:

Work

Obviously one of the more important parts of most people’s day, unless you happen to be rich, in which case help out the poor folk (read: me) will ya? I get up at 7am with no brain function until after I’ve made it to work usually. If I could get up at 8am, oddly enough, that problem would be non-existent, but I’m not that special. I have to get up then to make sure my son gets ready for school. He just found the charger to his game boy and getting him off that is impossible. Not that I mind, look who’s talking. hehe Depending on whether or not I’ve got overtime, I have about an hour and a half after that to catch up on some things that I didn’t have time for the night before. Usually this means cleaning something, otherwise it’s stuff like digg or whatever. I work until 7pm. It’s a half hour drive from work.

Kids
When I get home and Tweek is here the kids are almost in bed. When he’s not here, they’ll still be up so I’ll be giving them a bath after I get home. I read them both a story, we do whatever homework is left, and then they go to bed. They don’t seem to mind this set up as much as they did before, probably because I’m in their face for most of the morning until either they or I have left. I guess that’s a good thing.

Tweek
Last night we curled up and watched a movie. I fell asleep in his arms and it was very nice indeed. Things like that make the day more bearable I think. We do spend some us time here and there during the day. I find that I can stand my day better if I have a chance to cuddle with him in the morning before work. Stress reducer, yay.

Games
I hold subscriptions to three games (or such entities). Gametap, A Tale in the Desert, and World of Warcraft. Lately I’ve been catching up on ATitD in the morning cos all I do lately is feed my camels so they won’t die. I don’t like having a level system in that game, it’s one of the reasons I started playing it. That stuff better belongs in WoW. I seem to have a problem in WoW of starting new characters because I don’t feel like getting any higher with the ones I have. The highest I’ve gotten is 28 so far, and that was when I was sharing an account with Tweek. I got Gametap for Uru, but I’ve also been playing Empire Earth…man I love that game. Normally I wouldn’t be concerned about things like games among the other things I have going on, however I am paying money for these things, and I consider it a waste if I don’t do something with it. I put a lot of time and effort into ATitD early on, and I don’t want to waste it because nobody else would use it if I gave it to them and left. So I sort of feel obligated to play them whenever I have a spare minute.

So yeah, that’s everything that’s been keeping me busy lately. It’s no wonder I’m always ready to go to bed…

Dear Stupid,

It’s time you and I had a talk. You say things have changed so much for the better lately, then what exactly is going on here? Okay, so you try to do something good for yourself and someone special and then let it get to you. Who really cares that the timing was bad or that it’s too close for comfort to the “Bitchfest”? Nobody but you. Who really cares that you’re an ass because something wasn’t working? You were still an ass. That’s what people care about. Nobody cares about the why of it. Nobody.

Basically what I’m trying to say to you is stop wallowing, shut up, and deal with the bullshit.

Yours Truly,

You

Basically, I have very little to write about. There’s no drama in my life (yay!), and it’s pretty much the same thing day after day.

Tomorrow starts winter rules. We’re going to be busy at work. We were busy Thursday and it was nice. Friday wasn’t quite as busy but I had some crazy calls. I think I’m getting the hang of things.

Usually when I get home and get the kids in bed, I’m playing ATitD. I went ahead and signed up for GameTap cos they had that offer. I wasn’t sure if I was even going to bother (long story) but I figured that knowing me as I do (big surprise) I’d likely decide I want to later down the line and then have to pay extra cos I waited.

Anyway, there isn’t really all that much going on, so what can I really say? heh

The thing (not to be confused with person) I prize most is my privacy. I don’t like being interrupted when I’m doing something, I don’t like people just walking into my room, and I definitely don’t like people going through my things.

Thanks to a mistake almost 9 years ago, I lost my privacy completely. Locked or not, my home was not safe. Why should it be? He had a key (and no I didn’t give it to him). I was constantly being watched, being followed, and my paranoia grew by leaps and bounds that someday just watching wouldn’t be enough. So I’ve lived looking over my shoulder for about 9 years. I even became afraid of the dark, something I used to love.

Last night, I had to drive home in the dark for the first time since I’ve been here. Last night a lot of things became clear for me. I realized that I wasn’t always looking over my shoulder anymore. I wasn’t freaking out because the same car had been behind me for a very long time (or in front of me, yes it got that bad). And most importantly, I could see in the dark again. Headlights used to blind me to the point where I could see absolutely nothing. Even if I averted my eyes off the road. I remember a time when I could just look to the side of the road like they say to. I can do that again. That out of everything is the most significant thing to me.

I’m no longer afraid of the dark.

Even though I will never have privacy again (gotta love kids), I got that one thing back.